The day floats by all the same... yet different too. I think nearly all my blogs have at least some undertones on the concepts of passivity and activity. I don’t want to be passive and yet I have no idea where to even begin. When I stand up to go, I halt in uncetainty and ignorance. And to compensate, I write. Because writing is a form of coping, a form of gaining control.
I am terrified of complacency. I am afraid to get a good paying job and nice apartment and settle down etc etc because Im afraid I’ll like it. The simple, self-serving lifestlye of supporting oneself and indulging as a consumer.Because then I won’t want to do anything else; I may lose sight of the things that are really important and are beyond just me...the things that affect us all. I am afraid I will get caught up in america...I am afraid of that kind of "happiness."
Yet in this place...are there no other alternatives?
The worst thing is, everytime I try to get answers, I just can’t have them. Like I have to cut down the invading greenery on my own. But life is about that, isn’t it...Its really not the next thing you can achieve, its the long journey ahead. I know I tend to treat it as both, heh.
I want to know what other people are living for, what they are trying to achieve as "destiny." What are you aiming for in your life? What do you live for?
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